Joy comes in the morning

By Mercy Manyema  |  Published 3 August 2026

Have you ever been through a situation that you could only describe as hard? Of all the many words you could use to describe it, the only appropriate word you can find is just “hard”. Many of us can identify with is. We live in a world that is touched and affected by sin in every way. And at some point or other, hard things happen to us all.

What’s interesting is that many of us would rather suffer in silence than actually admit this. We have been conditioned to soldier through hard things. Admitting that something is hard is seen as a sign of weakness or some kind of betrayal of an unwritten social pact. We carry on as if nothing has happened, smiling when we would rather cry.

What if we could just allow ourselves to admit that “This is hard”? What if we allowed ourselves to be shocked or be absolutely horrified by the news we just received? Is there anything wrong with admitting, even for just a moment, that it shouldn’t be this way? This event, this situation just shouldn’t be, because it is not what God intended for his children. Its not supposed to be this way and we are shocked.

Admitting to yourself that something is hard doesn’t mean that you are not strong. These two truths can be true at the same time: You are strong, but also, this is really hard. I love Scott D Clary’s quote which says not being OK doesn’t have to be a permanent state but a passing one. It’s a state that says: “I don’t need to have all the answers today, but I will survive. I will be OK, but this is hard”.

You are allowed to just admit that this is painful, and scary and hard. No one needs to act like all is well when it isn’t, or to smile when they would rather cry. Who made this pact of stoicism? Can we allow ourselves to get out of it?

In the book of Psalms, David wrote several psalms in which he poured his heart out to God, just expressing how he felt about his situation. In Psalm 13 he starts by telling God that it feels like He has abandoned him forever. What I love though is that in the last verse he reaffirms his trust in God, showing that the state of verse 1 was not a permanent state.

In another psalm (Ps 56:8), David says God has collected all his tears in a bottle and recorded each one in His book, meaning that God sees us and takes notice when we cry. The things that make us cry are not a non-event to Him. So we do not have to pretend that we are OK when we are not. We do not have to stoically soldier on as if we do not care, or as if no one else cares.

The key is to bring it all to the Lord. The secret is to bring your pain, your tears, your “hard” to God. Admit it to Him, and allow him to carry you through. Allow the Holy Spirit, to comfort you. Allow Him to remind you that “weeping may last for a night, but joy comes with the new day.” (Psalm 30:5, NLT).

Do you need someone to speak to about your "hard"? Christian counselling provides a safe space to express yourself, as well as find the way forward for your situation. You do not need to do it alone. 

Need support?

Do you need to speak to someone about this topic? Counselling provides a safe space - you don't have to do it alone.

The invisible burden: Why men skip therapy

By Mercy Manyema  |  Published 27 July 2026

NB: Trigger alert - this blog post will mention suicide. 

Although women are more proportionally likely to attempt suicide,  men account for nearly 80% of all recorded suicides. This is partly because men usually use more violent methods. Suicide is not the only measure of one's state of mental health but it is a window into what many are now calling the silent pandemic. 

 It has been said over and over again that men are less likely to seek help for mental health, that they are less likely to talk about their struggles and that this often leads to aggression, violence and substance abuse. 

The question on everybody's lips is: why? Why do men skip therapy? Why are they less likely to seek for help? What barriers stand in their way to getting the support they need from family, friends and mental health practitioners?

At the top of the list are the expectations that society and culture often place on men to be strong and shoulder it all. From childhood, men are given the responsibility of being the one who holds the roof over everyone else, without flinching no matter how heavy it gets. Have you ever been to the funeral of a man, and everyone waits for his 20-year old son to arrive to make decisions because he is now "the man of the hous?". Seeking help and being vulnerable is seen as a sign of weakness (by who exactly?- we will tackle this in the next article). 

The signs and symptoms of mental health illness e.g. depression, may present differently in men and may go undiagnosed even if they do seek help. Sometimes we normalize these symptoms e.g. always feeling tired, overworking and drinking alcohol to cope. The symptoms themselves can become the mark of being a true man's man. 

But what most research articles show is that men do not have the safe spaces they need to let down their guard without judgement. A safe and non-judgemental space is necessary for anyone doing counselling regardless of their gender. A question that comes to mind then is: why do men seem to not feel safe with psychologists and counsellors? Is there perhaps a bigger issue with stigma around mental health care in general? 

And the million dollar question is - what can we do about it? 

Let me know your thoughts  in the comments. What are some other reasons that men don't get help for their mental health? Is it in their biology, is it only social conditioning at play? 

Do you or someone you know need to speak to someone about the suicidal thoughts you have been having? Get in touch with me here, and let us talk about it. 

Need support?

Do you need to speak to someone about this topic? Counselling provides a safe space - you don't have to do it alone.

Roses are red, violets are blue

By Nokukhanya Ncube  |  Published 20 July 2026

One of my favorite phrases is from a poem for those expressing their affectionate love to each other: "Roses are red, violets are blue..." You would agree with me that this has been one of the best pick-up lines for ages. I'm sure that if we were to put up a poll to vote on how popular it is, the line might be at the top.

Imagine if each and every time the phrase was used, someone had to give a rose. I'm sure by now we would have run out of beautiful roses.

Let's speak reality now. Most roses are probably expensive. I know they are beautiful, they smell nice, and they have a lasting scent. I am not a fan of flowers, but I know they make a home feel comfortable and smell good. Moreover, they have a way of putting a smile on someone's face.

For today, let's look at the line in this way: it's okay to be different - it's not a sin nor a crime. Like roses, you might be loved by most people, but not everyone is meant for you. That's also fine because violets are still beautiful in their own way.

Be yourself, and someone will love that about you.

Growth

By Mercy Manyema  |  Published 16 July 2026

When I had my first child I was privileged to witness her reaching her growth milestones. I saw her sit up for the first time, her first attempts at crawling, and also her first walking steps. There's no greater joy than to see your baby grow.

I also learned very quickly that growing includes pain, and falling. I watched my daughter scrape her knees or fall over as she tried to walk. All this was part of the growing process.

The law of growth in any area of life is that there will be some strain, some pain and even falling. Moving from one state of being to a new and better one involves some effort, and often involves pain.

Many of us give up at the first sign of trouble. There's sometimes a belief that good things should not be so hard. We forget that for a seed to germinate and grow into a tree it must push through the ground first. It must withstand the wind and the elements to grow to maturity, and bear fruit.

Prov 24v16 says: "Though a righteous person falls seven times, he will get up, but the wicked will stumble into ruin". On your journey of growth, remember that there will be uphill and downhill, there will be both sunshine and rain. Don't give up on your journey simply because things become difficult. Remember, "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance produces character; and character produces hope." (Romans 5v3-4).

The Rock that is higher than I

By Mercy Manyema  |  Published 29 June 2026

Psalm 61v2: From the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

It's not easy to admit that you need help. Many of us would rather struggle until we figure it out than ask for help. I know of people who have been lost on the road and drove hundreds of kilometers off-course simply because they didn't want to ask for help.

The verse above highlights two issues about asking for help: firstly you must admit that you are overwhelmed, and secondly you must also admit that there is One higher than you. These are the things we often struggle with - admitting that we cannot help ourselves. It takes a level of vulnerability to admit this, and few enjoy being vulnerable.

Sometimes we need the help of doctors for our health, sometimes we need the help of psychologists for our mental health, sometimes we need the help of friends and family to support us through challenges- whatever the case my be, we all need help at some point.

Above all else, we all need the help of the Rock that is higher than I...we need Him every day and every hour, as the old song says. He is safe and steady, and will not let us down in our vulnerable moments. When we choose to hide ourselves in Jesus our Rock, He will help us to deal with all the other needs we may have.

In Psalm 116:1-11, we are reminded that when we call to the Lord He hears us and rescues us. He is "gracious and righteous and full of compassion..." and we can trust Him. We can trust Him with our most vulnerable needs, and He will deliver us.

Bloom Despite The Mess

By Nokukhanya Ncube  |  Published 25 June 2026

Life is like a book with many pages. As you peruse through them, you begin to see just how fascinating—and sometimes frustrating—the journey of life can be. None can confidently say they fully understand how tomorrow will unfold, no one.

Farmers understand the importance of timing and knowledge. They know when to plant, where to plant, which crops thrive in different seasons, and the type of soil best suited for each crop. Without this knowledge, they risk wasting time, effort, and resources.

During the rainy season, plants create a beautiful landscape. They are vibrant, full of life, and add a special complement to nature. Recently, as I was passing through some fields, I noticed a particular section that was filled with dirt, plastic waste, broken glass, and rotting food remains. To my surprise, this area had the healthiest and best-looking crops in the entire field.

That sight taught me several valuable lessons:

1. Negativity should not keep you down. Ignore the noise around you and live your life to the fullest.

2. Pay attention to your inner voice. If the voice within is discouraging your progress, silence it and replace it with thoughts that empower you.

3. Failure is not the end. Let every setback become a ladder to try again. It is okay to make mistakes. The real flop is giving up.

4. Do not allow your environment to devalue your purpose. As long as you have breath, keep moving, even when life gets messy.

Dare to dream

By Nathan Manyema  |  Published 16 June 2026

NOTE: This week's post is a song written by my son. I pray that it inspires you to keep dreaming, keep believing, keep hoping🙂.

🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

the place
where all good stories are made
the memories that you'll laugh about
the prices that you paid

the time
when nothing seems to rhyme
you can't see where you're going
but you're going

the name
you're trying to create
a chance to be something great
someone great

If you stay
I promise its worth the wait
it happens overnight
and greets when you wake

What is time?

By Mercy Manyema  |  Published 8 June 2026

I love watching sunrises and sunsets. They are beautiful, and the changing hues across the horizon are magnificent. I find both events so simple yet so surreal. I often take pictures but it can be quite difficult to fully capture the moment on a still photo.

Our entire lives are contained within sunrises and sunsets. Whatever happens in your life happens in the day time after the sun has risen, or during the night after the sun has set. It's a wonder then, that on any typical day we rush along, doing what we need to do and pay no attention to these two events that punctuate our lives daily. Maybe we are afraid to face them because they remind us that our days are like sand in an hourglass, slowly ebbing away.

Solomon says in Eccl 5:18 - "This is what I have observed to be good: that it is appropriate for a person to eat, to drink and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given them—for this is their lot" (NIV). Paul in Eph 5:15-16 then says: "Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil" (NIV).

We all have a finite number of sunrises and sunsets that we will experience in this world. Its our choice how we spend the hours between them. We also have the privilege to pause a moment and savor a sunrise or a sunset, to reflect with gratitude on the blessing of being able to witness one. Take a moment, before the moments pass you by ✨️

Time will tell

By Nokukhanya Ncube  |  Published 1 June 2026

If only time would tell, most of us would have made better decisions, made better choices. We would have made a lot of memories with our loved ones who have died; better still we would have asked for forgiveness and also forgiven some of those people. I guess time only tells to those who listen attentively to it, or maybe it has its people🤷‍♀️.

I marvel at how people live their lives following an automatic rhythm: waking up, checking your phone, bathing, eating etc, and all the while time is being consumed. We all live like we have mastered how our lives are supposed to run. We live like we have it all under control and when things start to fall apart, or when things don't go according to how we want them to go, then we blame time.

Here is the thing: there is nothing wrong with time. It cannot tell, its just being itself - AS TIME. We all have the same hours, same days of the week, same months and same number of days in a year. You have to set your priorities straight. Make a decision, act on it and Focus....

Don't wait for time to tell, it will never tell, it will tick away as it should be...moving from a second to an hour to a day to a week, months to a year. Stop wasting time, do what needs to be done and stay focused. Tick...tock!!!.

Seasons

By Mercy Manyema  |  Published 27 May 2026

At this time of the year and in this side of the world, we are approaching winter. The leaves are changing color as quickly as the trees are shedding them. The sun sets sooner, evenings are becoming cooler and we are all bringing out our warm clothing. The seasons are changing. Just like they did last year, and the year before.

We all go through different seasons in life. Some are predictable and some are not, some are temporary and some are lasting. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus is credited as saying "Change is the only constant in life". The one thing we are guaranteed to face in this life is change, and changing seasons. Changing seasons can sometimes threaten our sense of security and wellbeing, and cause uncertainty, stress and anxiety. How does one navigate change without being adversely affected by it?

I looked at these trees in my yard and realised a few things that are true of the seasons of climate as well as the seasons of life. Firstly, seasons do not affect us all the same - just like some trees will shed their leaves, and some won't. The shedding of leaves or lack thereof doesn't make one tree better than the other, because they each have a different lifecycle and purpose. Secondly, the change of seasons will not necessarily change everything in your life. Its important to accept what has changed and grieve it if necessary, but to also acknowledge what has remained the same. Lastly, some changes are permanent, and some changes are only for a time. Some transitions will last forever, but some will not.

Change is inevitable. But remember your living to this point means you have survived the changing seasons of the past. You have a good track record. And if you are willing to adjust your perspective, you can see not only the discomfort of change, but also the good that it brings out.

The gift of another chance

By Mercy Manyema  |  Published 18 May 2026

Imagine if we could not start over - like never ever be able to try again. Imagine if in all things we could only have one shot at it, and if that failed, that would be the end of it. For one thing, I think we would have far more cases of depression and anxiety.

When I posted last week's story I realised that the very first blog I posted on here was around the same date, in 2022. I realised that it is actually true that May is a time of reflection for me (see post 11 May 2026). But I didn't post anything else since then. When I started, I had every intention of continuing but life happened, I focused on other things and it just didn't happen. I was grateful to have that first post still here. I was also grateful to have the chance to continue what I started. Not everything needs another chance, but it sure is good to have the chance when you need it. When God created the heavens and the earth (Gen 1:1-31), He built opportunities to start over in our timeline. Every turn of the hour is a chance to start over. Each new day is an opportunity to start afresh. The start of every new week is a chance to reset and try again with new vigour and energy. Each new month presents the possibility to do things differently. When the seasons give way to each other we get to enjoy God's creation differently. And of course at the turn of each year, our hopes are renewed, and we forge ahead with fresh conviction and confidence.

Whatever situation you find yourself navigating, remember that there is an opportunity to try again in that very moment. Sometimes we make mistakes that cost us dearly, but there is always a chance to try again, to rebuild. In 1 John 2:1-2 we are told that even if we should sin, we have an Advocate with the Father who will plead our case. Perhaps you have neglected a task, or a promise you made to yourself or to someone else - if you are reading this you still have the chance to make it right. Proverbs 24:16 reassures us that "The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again" (NLT). It could be a failure, betrayal or loss that has caused you distress and pain, but remember, we have the gift of another chance - another chance to try again, to rebuild, to reconcile, to forgive, to be forgiven, to try again.

Teach us to number our days

By Mercy Manyema  |  Published 12 May 2026

At the start of this month, we lost a church member quite suddenly, and his wife is a good friend of mine. We are all still trying to process this loss in our own different ways. Apart from this, the month of May tends to be a very reflective month for me because it is my birth month, it is the month that my father passed away 23 years ago, and it was my late grandmother's birth month too. These are all significant events for me, so I often take a moment to just slow down and reflect.

This week, and probably for the rest of the month, my reflections are focusing a lot on the brevity of life. I got to asking myself if I would have any regrets, should I die today. I asked myself what we need to do in order to "number our days" as the verse says. Is it possible to live an intentional and focused life even without experiencing tragedy? Are there things that I need to attend to in my life that I have been putting off?

I have much more reflection to do yet. But I leave you with these same questions. Are you living the life you intend(ed) to live, or you are just meeting each day with no real fervency? Are there things you promised yourself to do but haven't gotten round to? What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for a tragedy to kick you into action? And if your life were to end now, would you have any regrets, and what might they be? Because as long as you are alive, you have a chance to "grow in wisdom".

Yay! It finally happened

By Mercy Manyema  |  Published 9 May 2022

This blog has been a long time coming. I toyed with the idea for some years, but the timing just never seemed right. For a person who has always been known to be quiet and reserved, I have realised that I actually have a lot to say about a lot of things. I daresay that knack has often landed me in trouble 😅. A blog seemed a perfect way to have my say about the things that matter not only to me but to those around me, and to society at large.

So what will this blog be about? - all things mental health. It feels like a big part of my life has been preparing me for this very moment – more of that in coming posts. I want to join the ranks of many who have gone before me to raise awareness and facilitate dialogue on mental health issues, especially in the African and Christian contexts. I hope to draw insights from my experience in public health research as well as psychology/counselling, and theology.

Mental health challenges are no respecter of persons. We all go through overwhelming experiences in life regardless of our religion, age, race, social or economic standing. When we go through these experiences, we need someone to come alongside us, and to help us walk the journey to healing and wholeness. The word Parakaleo is a Greek word meaning "to call to one's side; to comfort, encourage and exhort". It describes the essence of the ministry of helping and counselling, of which this blog is a part. More information on the ministry itself will be shared in due course.

Apart from raising awareness, the aim of the blog is to encourage, comfort, and to urge on anyone facing mental health challenges, as well as their families. It is about shedding light into a subject that is seldom spoken about and yet affects us at all levels of society. Above all else, this blog seeks to bring hope.

So, join me on this journey of exploration, and of hope as we seek to know more, and do better. Leave a comment with suggestions of mental health topics you would like to see discussed on the blog.